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Philip Storey and his family visit Haven Primrose Valley, near Filey, on the North Yorkshire coast

NOBODY likes him,"

said Katie, five. She was referring to the singer, who had just started belting out Motown standards.

Around the hall, people were gathering up their coats and belongings, preparing to leave.

She was mistaken - the sudden exodus had nothing to do with the quality of the act. It was past ten o'clock, and most of the people making their way towards the exits were carrying sleeping children who had been allowed to stay up way past their bedtimes.

Which is what holidays are for - taking a break from the routine and staying up late to gorge on the kind of stuff that gives Jamie Oliver the vapours: fizzy drinks, buckets of popcorn and sweets that may well glow in the dark. For being particularly well behaved (so far), George, five, was also the proud owner of a £3 cowboy gun that made ricochet sounds.

Allowing children to stay up this late surrounded by squiffy adults is slightly irresponsible, but there's safety in numbers - social services can't come after all of us.

Haven veterans, the children don't understand why we can't live here.

Poring over the brochure each night, they had been counting down. Two sleeps to go. One sleep to go. Then up at sunrise the day of our departure.

But for the grown-ups, this stay was tinged with anxiety. The previous night, our route along the A171 over the North York Moors had been closed by snow, some of which was still piled by the roadside. While this meant nothing to the children, it filled the adults with genuine fear.

During previous stays, the weather had been in our favour. The prospect of sleeping in a caravan in sub-zero temperatures was a little unnerving.

But as we placed the last suitcase on the floor of 19 Ash Grove, there was a knock at the door. It was a maintenance man. He talked us through the caravan's heating system and we listened as if our lives depended on it.

Half an hour later, there was a relaxing warmth about the place. Our lives were not in danger after all.

Everything was no more than a five minute walk from the caravan - the beach, the fishing lake, the mini funfair, the shops and adventure playgrounds, the go-kart track, swimming pool, outdoor sports areas and pub, the Chinese restaurant and golf course next door. With so much to do, only the terminally idle could be bored here, whatever the weather.

The caravan was spacious, except for the toilet and shower room, which were, shall we say, functional. Using the shower called for a level of agility.

But that's a minor and rather pointless quibble - as an appliance, it was excellent.

From the site, it is a short walk to the beach, which is the best childminder in the world. However many children there are and whatever feuds are simmering, it's easy to spread them out and keep an eye on them. So, as soon as the sun comes out, there's no reason why the chaps can't go fishing. During the course of our four-day stay, it was surprising how many men claimed to have thrown their fishing tackle into the boot of the car "just in case..."

The lake is stocked with carp, tench, roach, perch and other coarse fish, though not one of them acknowledged my arrival; ignoring sweetcorn, luncheon meat and halibut pellets. Even the aniseedflavoured pellets ordered especially over the internet failed to trigger a bite. Still, as a wise man once said, if it was easy it wouldn't be called fishing, it would be called catching.

Fishing is 8am to 8pm. Day tickets are £7 and a pass for the week is £20.

The beach, of course, is free.

On the way home, Katie wanted to know why we couldn't stay at the caravan forever. "Maybe one day," I said.

Then: "George, do you want to stay at the caravan forever?"

Too tired to speak, the Kid answered with a single gunshot.

TRAVEL FACTS

Primrose Valley Holiday Park, is one of 35 Haven Holiday Parks. Self-catering accommodation ranges from the luxurious Prestige, to the more economical Standard holiday homes.

Prices include entertainment and use of the facilities on the park. Prices for a four-night break in May start at around £199 - based on a family of up to four in Superior accommodation.

For full details, the latest special offers and immediate online bookings visit www.haven.com, call 0871-230900 or phone the park direct on 0871-231- 0892 If you'd like to own your own holiday home at Primrose Valley check out www.havenholidayhomes.co.uk or call 0871-230-1299.

10:05am Saturday 17th May 2008

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